Malaysian English

Malaysian English
Who says our English is teruk? Just see below...
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc...
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get through. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEMENT, OVER A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you've said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you've been staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what had just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it, here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me!
Malaysians:Celaka u